the_measurers | Application

Entanglement has switched over to a dressing room format for now, so applications aren't needed for the time being.

FANDOM CHARACTER APPLICATION:

Mun: Your Name: Your Journal: (optional) Your Email: Your AIM: (optional) Character: Character's Name: Character's Fandom: Character's Home Universe:(Please either describe a bit of your character's universe or link to a wiki that does so) Canon Point you're taking him/her/it from: (If your character's spent a signifigant amount of time in the game universe, please include it here, including whether they've been on Senburu-Trati'salan a while) Method of Arrival on Station: (see the FAQ for a list of options) Physical Appearance: (You may link to a picture if you like. If they'll be gaining new clothes upon arrival, describe them here) Personality: (at least two paragraphs) Abilities and Skills: (Both human and superhuman. Optional section.) Sample: (At least three good sized paragraphs. Please set this within the game's multiverse. You may use NPCs or characters already in the game as foils for your character in this sample if you wish. Format is prose, either third or first person. You may also use a musebox post or one in <lj site="livejournal.com" user="testrunbox"> as your sample. This post may be slightly shorter than a sample written here, as long as your total length of writing (initial post+your tags) fits the length guidelines.)

ORIGINAL CHARACTER APPLICATION:

Mun: Your Name: Your Journal: (optional) Your Email: Your AIM: (optional) Character: Character's Name: Character's Fandom: (if an original universe based OC, put 'OC' here) Character's Home Universe:(Please describe it. What's it like? Magic? Technology? What is their home culture like?) Method of Arrival on Station: (see the FAQ for a list of options) Physical Appearance: (You may link to a picture if you like. If they'll be gaining new clothes upon arrival, describe them here) Character History: (Their life up to arrival on Senburu-Trati'salan. You don't need to tell us every detail but enough that we get an idea of what shaped them into who they are today.) Personality: (at least two paragraphs) Abilities and Skills: (Both human and superhuman. Optional section.) Sample: (At least three good sized paragraphs. Please set this within the game's multiverse. You may use NPCs or characters already in the game as foils for your character in this sample if you wish. Format is prose, either third or first person. You may also use a musebox post or one in <lj site="livejournal.com" user="testrunbox"> as your sample. This post may be slightly shorter than a sample written here, as long as your total length of writing (initial post+your tags) fits the length guidelines.)

Whichever application you're posting, please put the character's name, if they're an OC, and their fandom (if any) in the subject line.

Note again that you are allowed to use musebox posts and posts on testrun_box for your sample. In that case, your total amount of tags written will be added up, so the initial post can be shorter than normal for a sample. You're still required to use a prose format and set the sample in the game universe though.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mun:

Your Name: Kyle
Your Journal: kevanick
Your Email: kevanick@yahoo.com
Your AIM: Kyle Evanick

Character:

Character's Name: Chris Ramirez
Character's Fandom: Kamen Rider Dragon Knight
Character's Home Universe: http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Kamen_Rider_Dragon_Knight
Canon Point you're taking him/her/it from: Immediately after Chris leaves Kit's apartment in episode 18: 'The Brothers Cho'.
Method of Arrival on Station: He was podded.
Physical Appearance: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091114220031/kamenrider/images/b/ba/KRDK_Chris.jpg
Personality: Chris is someone who has no problem taking orders from people regardless of age or gender or anything else. He does however have trouble giving orders if he was put in such a situation. Being from a family of marines through four generations, has given Chris a bit of no confidance in his own abilities and has given serious doubts about himself. Generally soft-spoken, he rarely speaks his mind about subjects unless questioned. He considers his asthma a liability of himself on the battlefield. That isn't to say he's not brave. He tends to jump the gun sometimes, and when he deals with other authority types like his father, he'll rather meekly fall in line. He is rather intimidated by large problems as he can get rather stubborn when he thinks he's right. Chris is very loyal when you get to know him, and he trusts what few friends he has completely. He's also a bit naive and innocent when it comes to police and military figures and wouldn't dream of ignoring or disobeying them.

As a Kamen Rider in his own world, he deemed his asthma a liability because he in part felt he was in the way of Kit and Len's way stopping Xaviax. The other part was that after he was discharged from the Marines he felt powerless during the meeting with Marine doctor and felt at the core that maybe something was wrong with him to have failed completely. As his father always says 'let the training guide you', Chris felt he had better just let the other Riders take care of this because he couldn't even help himself. While he had initially believed his asthma gives him the firm belief that heart is no good without strength, he ever so slowly changed his mind in no short way thanks to Len and Kit. Chris initially thought he couldn't face his failure but with the bonds he made with Kit, Len, and Maya made him think twice and tried to keep a cool head during battles. He took Len's advice at heart and tried his hardest to learn his lessons and training. The reason why he's brave is because he's loyal, trustworthy, and selfless. He would put himself at risk long before his friends would have. A self sacrificing person, he would take other people's feelings and thoughts into consideration before his own.

In short, he is a young man who just wants to make his friends and family proud of him. Chris would risk his very life for those he cares for. While very softspoken, he will not give up on his friends as they won't give up on him. He would rather die than betray those he cares for. He's very protective of all his friends, even if he tends to give up on himself. His friends would never give up on him, and over time he may see his own self-worth.

Abilities and Skills:
With his Advent Deck he can transform into Kamen Rider Sting by holding it outward and saying 'Kamen Rider'. All Kamen Riders have what is called an Advent Deck and is their source of power for all Kamen Riders. Each Rider has their own Advent Beast in their deck which can give them additional power. Chris' particular Beast is a maroon manta ray-like creature by the name of Evildiver. While he doesn't have flight or super strength, as a Kamen Rider he has enhanced speed, durability and strength compareable to a major athlete. It's nothing too far outside the range of normal human though. In addition to his own strength as a Kamen Rider, his cards in his Advent Deck can help him in situations. The ones his uses most often are: Swing Vent which gives him a whip, Copy Vent which replicates or copies an opponent's weapon, Attack Vent which has Evildiver attack the opponent and Final Vent which he jumps onto Evildiver to use like a surfboard, and rams into his opponent. I don't see a major problem with nerfing his power as he's one of the weaker Riders, he wouldn't be able to deal with too many physical blows before reverting to his human form.

Sample:

A hum was heard through Chris' lips as he slowly awakened on what he assumed was a bed. He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep or when, what he did recall was eating pizza with Len and Kit. Eating and then... Kit had relayed
his tale of how close he was with his father, something Chris wished he had with his own father. He must've left the apartment but then how did he find himself asleep? Did Strike and Xaviax attack him when his back was turned? Is that why Len and Kit were letting him rest? As he slowly rised and opened his eyes, he called out to his friends.

"Kit? Len, are you guys here?" Not yet realizing that they were no longer with him, he tripped outside the 'bed' and that woke him up with a jolt. He looked up to see a large pod of sorts which he had apparently stumbled and fell out of. Backing away in shock, he quickly checked his pockets to make sure his Advent Deck was still with him. Fortunately, it was. "What happened? How did I get here?" Chris wondered outloud. This was very strange. His thoughts did now drift to his friends: Kit, Maya, and Len. What happened to them? Why aren't they here with him? What was going on?

Chris quickly searched for anyone else in the room, hopefully someone could answer his questions... But unfortunately he found no one. "All right." Chris said with a sigh. "First step: find other people and see if I can find out what's going on this very strange place. And hopefully... Kit and the others are okay." Kamen Rider or not, he couldn't just stay here, wherever 'here' was. Information was the first step, and seeing if there's a way back is the next one. Chris knew that he was need back home. he couldn't stay in this place. With a nod he scooped up his fallen Advent Deck and checked the pod. The only thing in it was his dog tags. Chris picked them up carefully, and left the room cautiously. This wouldn't be easy.

After reviewing your app, we'd like to ask for a revised application with cleaned up grammar and punctuation. No other revisions are necessary. Please reply with those revisions within one week. Thank you.

If you don't mind, can you state an example or two of the incorrect grammar and punctuation? Just so it'll be easier for me to figure out what I am looking for.

Commas appear in places where they don't belong, or don't appear when they should. Some tenses are incorrect. For instance, in the first paragraph:

Chris is someone who has no problem taking orders from people regardless of age or gender or anything else.

There should be a comma after 'age' and only one 'or', after 'gender'.

He does however have trouble giving orders if he was put in such a situation.

This should read: "He does however have trouble giving orders if he is put in such a situation."

Being from a family of marines through four generations, has given Chris a bit of no confidance in his own abilities and has given serious doubts about himself.

This should be "a bit of a lack of confidence in his own abilities. It has also given him serious doubts about himself".

Application

Chris Ramirez

Re: Chris Ramirez

REVISION REQUEST

Re: REVISION REQUEST

Re: REVISION REQUEST